Do's and Don'ts in the UK
Compiled by Marlies Lukkes, June 2001
Some observations by an expatriate.
Do all Britons like beer without a head? Are all Britons polite? For sure not all Britons walk with a bowler hat and an umbrella. Most Britons queue at bus stops. Although it is difficult to generalise, Britons do have some customs and etiquette that are different from those in other countries.
These observations have been written in an attempt to help expatriates, who may be unfamiliar with British customs and etiquette, to get along in the UK without offending anyone. A selected number of topics have been chosen - topics that might be of interest or relevance to you and your family when you move to the UK. Read them, enjoy them but bear in mind that the observations are naturally coloured by the author's personal taste and preference as well as background and personal experience. The author would like to emphasise that the observations, whether joking or serious, are never made to offend anybody, not least the British people themselves.
Introduction
Britain is officially called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Its inhabitants, the Britons, were originally the descendants of a mixture of Celts, Romans, Scandinavians and many other nationalities. Great Britain is a multinational, multicoloured and multicultural country. As with most countries, there have been, and still are, many influences from outside Britain on culture and etiquette. Many people would claim to be Welsh, English, Scottish or (Northern) Irish before British, so to generalise for the whole of Britain would seem an unrealistic, if not impossible task.
A typical British home doesn't exist. Some observations do not hold for certain areas of the country. Living in the North is not the same as living in the South. City life is not the same as living in the countryside. In other words nothing is black or white.
About politeness and meeting people
- In general British people are very polite. Maybe even too polite. They don't readily question or complain in public. They are reluctant to give you negative comments, even when you ask for an honest opinion. You have to learn to read between the lines: 'That's an unusual outfit' might mean it's not very appropriate. 'That's an interesting argument' might mean 'I think you're quite wrong.' Etc.
- British people queue everywhere. At the bus stop, at the shop counter and at the bank. Be patient when you enter a shop or post office - you have to wait your turn. It takes as long as it takes. It truly is 'first-come-first served'.
- Don't expect a long conversation with a total stranger at the bus stop or in the bus. Conversations are short. 'Nice weather today' or 'The bus is late today'. In the London area people are more familiar with foreigners and how to deal with them, but nevertheless you may find yourself all alone in this big city full of people. In the countryside and further north you will find people more open and talkative, they seem to have more time to be friendly.
- British people play by the rules. Park your car at the proper parking spot. Don't dare to use two bays at a time. British people will not tell you personally, but they will talk loud enough to their partner to let you know that you did something wrong. Similarly, people expect you to obey signs such as 'Amenity area only. No ball games'.
- Be polite and respectful at all times to the elderly. Open the door for them. Offer them a seat in a full bus. Help an elderly lady to cross the road if she asks you.
- Do wait at the door of a restaurant to be seated at a table. If there is a particular spot you prefer, you may politely ask the waiter if that table is available.
- Britons are quite punctual. If you agree to meet friends at three o'clock, you can bet that they'll be there just after three. If you are invited to someone's house for dinner at half past seven, they will not expect you to be there on the dot. It is considered good manners to arrive ten to fifteen minutes "late". An invitation might state "7.30 for 8", in which case you should arrive no later than 7.50. However, if an invitation says "sharp", you must arrive in plenty of time. You should, of course, always be on time for work.
- Britons generally pay a lot of attention to good table manners. . Even young children are expected to eat properly with knife and fork. It definitely is not done to use your hands while eating, except maybe at McDonald's or when eating sandwiches!
- In general British people are quite reserved when greeting one another. Greeting can be a bright 'Hello' or 'Good morning', when you arrive at work or at school. A firm handshake is customary when you are introduced to somebody new. It is only when you meet friends, whom you haven't seen for a long time, that you would kiss the cheek of the opposite sex. In Britain one kiss is generally enough.
- On entering a full room of people, Britons don't shake hands or greet everyone in the room. They don't expect you to do it either. It is not rude, it's just how it is.
- When you are invited at a Wedding/Christening or Christmas Party, quite often you have to pay for your own drinks.
You will find Britons friendly and helpful. They won't take you by the hand, but they will give loads of tips to make your start and stay easier. So, being polite and patient are ways of getting a lot done in the UK.
In and around the house
- Many British people still seem to like flowery wallpaper, flowery carpets and flowery curtains. Expect a lot of soft pink, blue and other warm colours in your rented accommodation. Even the outside of houses can be quite bright; lilac front doors or bright yellow window frames are not unusual.
- Do-it-Yourself (DIY) is a popular hobby especially when you consider all the money you might save. However, not everyone is capable of converting their dreams to reality and so, to avoid disasters, some people consult the 'home improvements' section in the local newspaper. Tiling, flooring, fitting, stripping, plumbing. You name it, there is always a handyman offering his services for a reasonable price. See if you can get someone recommended, as not everybody delivers what he promises.
- The flooring in your rented accommodation may differ from what you are used to. Older houses and farms may have tiled floors. Most new houses, though, have carpets throughout the house, including hallways and bathrooms. Laminate or wooden floors tend to be more popular with families with young children.
- Is it really true that 'English food is tasteless and greasy'? Yes, you can still order fish and (big) chips at the local pubs or take-aways. Yes, sausages, baked beans, eggs and even black pudding may still be the favourite breakfast for some hard working Britons, but fruits and cereals also seem to be very popular at breakfast. British food preference is changing. It is greatly influenced by the foreign cuisines of Italy, France, India, Spain, Greece and countries even further away, and there is many a cookery programme on TV to instruct us on how to cook everything from exotic meals to pies and pastries and healthy alternatives.
- Britain is a tea-drinking nation. Most Britons like their tea strong and dark, but with a lot of milk. They do drink coffee as well, though either freshly- made coffee or instant coffee.
- Sometimes it seems that they're always drinking tea. Don't misunderstand them when they say 'We are having our tea'. This doesn't mean they're drinking a cup of tea. It means they are having their evening meal or supper. This could be a warm meal or sandwiches. Many people have a warm lunch, (often called 'dinner'), at work or at school. 'High tea' means a warm dish or a salad perhaps, followed by tea and plenty of bread, small pancakes, cake etc, normally served in the early evening.
- What do ales, beers and tea have in common? They are the national drinks in the UK. The British like them very much. Tea with milk and beer without a head. The British would think that they had been given short measure if there was a large head at the top of their glass of beer. About one finger thick is enough. It's all a matter of taste.
- It is all right to invite people to your house, so that the children can make friends, but do bear in mind that British people tend to be quite reserved and won't ask you to their house easily.
- When invited to someone's house, adults do not take off their shoes unless they are very dirty. Children are expected to take their shoes off at the door if they are muddy.
- The British love their dogs. Be prepared for muddy dog prints on your coat.
On the road
- Most places are well sign posted. If you want to go walking or driving to a really out-of-the-way place, buy a 1:50000 Ordnance Survey map of the area. These maps show practically every single building in the countryside. 1:25000 Ordnance Survey maps show individual fields.
- Off the motorway you will find roundabouts everywhere. It is an art to drive round these roundabouts in the proper way. Before you enter the roundabout, make sure which exit you need to take. Then make sure you are in the right lane before you enter, so you don't cross in front of other cars. Once on the roundabout if you can't decide where to go, make another circle and check the exit signs again. Only your children in the back seat will notice!
- Cars entering the roundabout have to give way to cars on the roundabout. Cars driving on the roundabout have the right of way.
- The UK has turned into a very car-minded country. Many families, especially those living out of town, own two cars.
- Do expect traffic jams during rush hour. Especially near the bigger cities or an exit to a popular shopping/retail park (IKEA on a Saturday afternoon).
- There are plenty of service stations along the road, selling petrol and refreshments. Toilet facilities are generally free. Also in town there are many free public toilets. Most larger shops and supermarkets have free customer toilets.
- You never know where cycle paths may end. They may start at a perfectly safe place, but often end abruptly just before a very busy intersection or roundabout. There is a growing national network of cycle paths. Generally biking is considered dangerous on busy or narrow roads. Most cyclists wear helmets. Wear reflective clothing at night and on foggy and rainy days. Make sure your light works well. Don't expect motorists to see you on your bicycle. Often hedgerows block the driver's view. Also watch their fast left turn.
- Expect horses on the smaller roads.
For more 'Do's and don'ts in the UK' visit the UK Information Network Centres' website at http://www.incnetwork.demon.co.uk. The UK INC website provides lots of practical and useful information for expats living in the UK.
Contact Jo Parfitt: Generaal Spoorlaan 24, 2252 TA, Voorschoten, Netherlands - Tel: +31 (0)71 561 6857 - www.expatrollercoaster.com